Movie Reviews: Suicide Girls Must Die

sgmd1
Official Tagline: When twelve nude models for the infamous SuicideGirls.com begin disappearing from a remote cabin, the calendar video they are shooting becomes the first reality horror movie.

Written by: Brian Fagan
Directed by: Sarah Remetch (as Sawa Suicide)

Starring: Amina Munster, Bailey Suicide, Bully Suicide, Daven Suicide, Evan Suicide, Fractal Suicide
MV5BMTMyNjM4NTYyOF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNDU4ODkxMw@@._V1_UX182_CR0,0,182,268_AL_
Hello gentle readers. Today I would like to dust off a few older films that you should be able to catch on DVD or Netflix. First let’s look at “Suicide Girls Must Die”, which is supposed to be the “World’s first horror reality movie” and it may well be, but who really cares if it is?

The basic idea of the movie is that a group of the tattooed and pierced models from the actual Suicide Girls website go to a remote lodge in the woods for a calendar shoot. So we start out with the basic horror trope of a diverse group of people cut off from civilization, with no hope of help, while being picked off, one by one. In this movie the calendar shoot an excuse for each of the girls to get naked for a few minutes in the film. I’m not complaining about that part, some of the girls are very attractive and the nudity is appreciated, but it does very little to further the plot or reveal much about the characters other than where they have tattoos. It would be nice if these girls had at least a passing ability to act, but sometimes looks are enough to get a girl by in the business, especially if that business is primarily nude modeling.

The main thing I will complain about, is the basic deceit of the film makers, who treat the audience as if we are as stupid as they make these poor girls appear to be in this movie. It is as if they all got together before they shot a scene and said “hey what’s the smart thing the characters could do and what’s the dumbest thing they could do” and chose the stupid option every time. Sure people do dumb things in real life and maybe these model/actresses are just like they appear in the movie, but can people really be that dumb? I really want to believe that most of these young women are reasonability intelligent and that the writer

Of course I could be giving the actors more credit than they deserve and they really are as stupid as they appear to be in this film, but I really hope not. The movie isn’t really scary and logic soon disappears early on in the film. I will give credit to Amina Munster, who plays the photographer / uber lesbian bitch of the story.
Suicide-Girls-Must-Die-3
Amina is very attractive and has being a total insensitive bitch down to a T. I almost suspect that she wasn’t acting, but however she does it, her performance was the best of the cast. It is a shame that Brian Fagan and Sarah Remetch cobbled together such a weak story, paired with almost no directing ability and left these young women with nowhere to turn.

If you want to see a bunch of mostly attractive tattooed girls doing a lot of stupid things and are naked part of the time, then this may be the movie for you. If you’re looking for a good scary movie, then you may want to skip this one.


Suicide_Girls_Must_Die_-_English_f
Screen Writer Ink
Fade In Is Just The Beginning

%d bloggers like this: